When I left the firefighting world and began to struggle emotionally with my life not following the path I always thought it would follow it took me a few years to realize what was happening to me, I didn’t know something was wrong, and once I did realize something was not right it took me just as long to figure out how to fix it.
The internal anger I had would often prevent me from being the kind of supportive husband my wife deserved. She never once said anything to me about it but I could see it in her face, I knew I was letting her down, and I struggled to find a way to fix it so that I could be the person she needed me to be. No matter how grumpy I was she was always right there by my side.
The first time my wife ever heard me publicly acknowledge that I had not been the husband I should have been for the past few years was when I was on the Rob Sharkey XM show. After being on the show and acknowledging that I needed to be a more positive and supporting husband it really seemed to help improve my relationship with my wife, I owed it to her to admit that I was the one with the problem and I needed to be the one to fix my problem, it surely wasn’t going to fix itself.
Last night I was listening to some podcasts about mental health and a light bulb went off in my head that even though I had acknowledged I needed to improve who I was I never thanked my wife for always standing by my side, she never once complained, she didn’t know how to fix what was wrong either but she made sure that I could get the resources I needed to make myself better. So this morning when I got home from work, I told her thank you. Sometimes the loved ones that help you in your darkest hours just need to hear those two little simple words….. thank you.